YM1 -- Friendship in Marriage

Today, I'm continuing to share from my Sunday School class's study of marriage in our current culture.

Part 1: Purpose of Marriage

Today, I'm talking about friendship in marriage.  Did you know our spouse is supposed to be our best friend?

"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'"  -- Genesis 2:18

"His mouth is most sweet, yes, he is altogether lovely.  This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem."  -- Song of Solomon 5:16

Without question, Jason is my best friend.  There's no one I'd rather spend time with.  He's the first one I want to talk to when something good happens or when I see something funny on tv.  He makes the most mundane tasks more fun.  Sure, I enjoy time alone, with my family, or with my friends, but at the end of the day, I want to be around him.

Though he doesn't show this side to everyone, Jason is one of the most fun, spontaneous, ridiculous people I've ever met.

We've had to make the most of the past few months, dealing with house-packing, house-moving, house-settling, house-renovating, and house-selling.  We've had fun doing it, but a question from our Sunday School teacher really startled us: "What's something fun you've done recently just to have fun?"  We looked at each other and realized that we couldn't remember the last time we've had fun just for fun's sake.  

Our goal this week: take time and do something fun and silly.

YM1 -- Purpose of Marriage

My Sunday School class is starting a new series on marriage in the current culture.  I've enjoyed the first two weeks so much I want to share some information from it with others.  (PS, the "YM1" in the title is the name of my class, "Young Marrieds 1")

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her."  -- Ephesians 5:22, 25


Marriage is an earthly model of Christ's (the groom's) relationship with the church (the bride).  In high school, my male classmates loved to quote "Women are supposed to submit to their husbands" before launching into their "woman's place is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen" stance on male and female relations.  Meanwhile, I sat there silent but red-faced and white-knuckled.  I knew this verse was in the Bible, but I didn't know the Bible well enough to argue against them.  Only in my adulthood have I begun to understand what these verses truly mean.

Yes, wives are supposed to submit to their husbands.  Husbands represent Christ in the marriage relationship, and they are supposed to lead their spouse and family closer to God.  However, what my male classmates failed to quote was the verse a little farther in Ephesians.  Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church.  How did Christ love the church?  He loved the church unselfishly, humbly, with a servant's heart.  Oh yeah, and He died in order to save the church.  That's a tall order to fulfill!

"Speaking truth in love, [we] may grow up in all things into Him who is the head -- Christ."  -- Ephesians 4:15


One quote from class: "Regarding our selfishness and sin, our spouses do not change us as much as they reveal us."

So, so true.  You don't realize how spiteful, selfish, or sinful you are until you live with someone day in and day out.  You feel yourself speak out in anger, then think to yourself "Ooh, that wasn't very loving, was it?"  Then, you get to swallow your pride and ask for forgiveness.


We are both called to serve our spouse without grumbling, keeping score, feeling like martyrs, or expecting reciprocation.  I try to serve Jason unselfishly without expecting him to do the same.  Our culture balks at this, but when he's served, Jason in turn serves me -- not out of guilt or reciprocation, but because he loves me and wants to serve me.  This in turn makes me want to serve him, and the cycle continues.  (Not that we're perfect with this.  Trust me, I'm thankful every day that he cannot hear my sinful, prideful thoughts!)

"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."  -- Proverbs 27:17


"But we all... are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord."  -- 2 Corinthians 3:18


Like I said, we're not perfect, but we have a lifetime together to "sharpen" each other.  The transformation is slow, but we're in it together.  Tomorrow, friendship in marriage.