Chronicles of a Working Mom -- Part 3, The Dreaded Daycare Decision

Congrats, you've had a kid!  Now what?

If both of us were going to be working, then we would need to find a place for our kiddo during the day.  I've said it over and over, but no set of working parents makes the exact same decisions about childcare.  This definitely rings true for us because we chose a path for Tyler that isn't open to every dual-income family.

Jason and I (and Tyler) are so terribly spoiled when it comes to daycare.  Jason works for SAS Institute, which Fortune Magazine has year after year ranked one of the top places to work in the country.  One of the perks of working there is that SAS provides its own on-campus daycare.  More about SAS here and here.

It's a top-notch school that teaches (not just "babysits") and cares for Tyler (his teachers LOVE him), is at Jason's place of work (so convenient for pick-up/drop-off or the occasional family lunch), and is whoa cheap.  He's in a class with two teachers and (currently) four other children.  He goes from 8:45-3:45 five days a week.  But more on that in a later post...

Tyler's classroom

Before being accepted into the daycare (we got on the waiting list about four seconds after finding out we were pregnant), Jason and I explored other options.  We were bummed by their conditions (not slums, but not places that made you excited to send your kid all day) and the prices (some were higher than our mortgage!!!!).  We're so blessed to have gotten into the SAS program.  It gives me great peace of mind when I go to work every day that Tyler is getting the finest education.

Gee, that's just great for y'all.  Thanks, Meg...........

Ok, I know, I know, our story isn't terribly helpful for the rest of you.  That's why I turned to other working parents to find out what decisions they made and why.  I've bolded the questions I asked and put their answers underneath.

What type of care did you go with? (daycare facility, daycare at someone's home, in-home support, family, etc.) and what were the main deciding factors for this type of care? (low-cost, high ratings, security/comfort of being in own home, etc.)

We use our family but go to preschool 2 half days a week.  I didn't want my daughter in childcare as a small infant because of the germs, unfamiliar caregiver, and at that time, I was working weekends [as a nurse], so they would only cover Fridays.  Plus in this area, you cannot find a facility that covers a 12hr hospital shift.  Shift work also complicates things because we both do it, so our schedules are constantly changing. [Me: I also wanted to add as an FYI that her mom worked in a daycare facility for years, so she's quite knowledgeable about the goings on there]

We went with a daycare facility based on recommendations from fellow teachers.  We liked having multiple eyes in the room and socialization.

We went with a really great daycare that teaches your kid everything (reading, writing, math, Spanish).  He started Kindergarten smarter than a first grader.  They have a water park!  It is huge, well-lit, good security (keypad on the door), and has good meals (including breakfast).

I've done both in-home and a daycare facility.  The in-homes were where a friend had his little boy.  The daycare facility is just for infants/toddlers under 33mos.  It was recommended to me.  In an in-home, they are exposed to children of all ages (like a family setting) whereas in a daycare facility, they are often only with kids their own age.  In in-home, they stay with the same teacher while they move up to new teachers in a daycare.

We use an in-home facility and my mom has a day with each of the boys each week.  We looked at over 20 daycare places and I wasn't a fan of the teacher turnover at a facility daycare [Me: in the 6mos Tyler has been at SAS, we've had two teachers leave].  I wanted my kids to be able to play together and be around each other all day.  I didn't like the idea of them being in separate classrooms.  We were able to cloth diaper as well.  None of the daycare facilities allowed that.

We started out with an in-home daycare, a teacher's mom at my previous school.  She was highly suggested by everyone.  Now that I've moved jobs (Zebulon to Raleigh), he goes to a daycare that is 5-star and ~5 minutes away from our apartment and my work.

We went with a daycare facility for social interaction and convenience.

My sister-in-law keeps my son 4 days/wk and my mother-in-law keeps him 1 day/wk.  We preferred a smaller in-home environment and my SIL has a 1 year old, so she offered.  We found comfort in knowing he would be with family.  This was the best way to justify me still working.




How many hours is your child in this care a week and (if you are willing to share), how much do you pay?

We pay $90/month for our daughter to go to preschool 2 half-days a week.  Our parents take care of her the other days, and they won't take any payment.

Our daughter goes roughly 40/hours a week (a little less if I'm well-planned and spring her out on Fridays).  We pay $250/week, but don't send her during the summer.  It was $275/week when she was younger. [Me: for those who don't know, daycare rates are higher for infants than toddlers]

Our daughter is in daycare ~45hrs/week and we pay $180/week [for the in-home facility]. 

Our kids are in daycare 45-50 hrs/week, and we pay $232 for 4 days a week/kid.

When our little guy was tiny, my husband worked out his schedule so he was home with him 2 weekdays (and I was home with him on the weekends), so he was in daycare ~24.5 hrs/week.  Now, he's there 5 days a week, so 40-45hrs.  We pay $180/week (based on our income), although "full" price is around $250/week.

He's with my SIL or MIL ~35-40 hours a week.  We pay my SIL $45/day and found that to be comparable to other in-home situations.  

Anything else you'd like to share?

I cried the first day I dropped her off, and she didn't shed a tear.

I think the key is to go visit places unannounced and don't schedule a visit in advance.  Just show up.  That will give you an idea of the security and how things are truly handled at the daycare.  Make sure you are comfortable with what you see.

You will have to compromise.  What is most important to you?  I love that my kids get to walk to the park or the pet store -- things we would do if we were home with them.

It was comforting (and cheaper) to have our tiny baby with one person and be able to watch bigger kids, but he's learning a lot with other kids at daycare now.



Last words from me:
There really are advantages and disadvantages to each choice.  If I had my way, my folks would live closer and take care of Tyler at least a couple days a week.  I do love that Tyler is in a small class (5-6 kids and 2 teachers) with kids just slightly older than him (they "move up" when they turn 1).  I think he's learned a lot from watching their behaviors.

The biggest shock for us were the rates at some daycare facilities.  I had heard before that unless you have a "good" [reasonably-paid] job, it's not worth it to do daycare.  I now know why!  When we were shopping around, we went to two places that were not up to our standards, and they wanted $280/week!  I can't even imagine what the "good" schools ask!  So so thankful for SAS.

Next Up: How to Balance Your Time

Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion.  Share yours in the comments section.