Confessions of a Preggo

Jason and I are kinda marching to the beat of our own drum during this pregnancy.  Here are a few confessions that are going to cause some shock and awe, plus some secret judging from well-meaning readers.  Judge all you want... here are five confessions.

I haven't read any pregnancy books.  Honestly, I haven't really read much online either.  Early on, I looked up good foods to eat when pregnant (I pretty much already knew the no-no's) and advice on medicines to take (Remember those two months in a row when I kept getting colds?  Yeah, they were extra bad because I knew I was pregnant and couldn't take much of anything).  While I am not knocking pregnancy books or blogs or informational websites, I'm just saying that I care less about "typical" pregnancy symptoms and more about what's going on with Itself and me.

I have no idea what size my baby is right now or what fruit/vegetable it equates to.  Ok, I have some idea.  At week 19, Itself is larger than my fist and smaller than a toddler.  There ya go.

Baby things I currently own: the onesie I gave Jason to tell him I was pregnant (see it here), a feed-yourself bib Jill got me from IKEA while picking up a new one for Addison, and the cds Jason gave me for Valentine's Day (more about that here).  Yup, totally prepared for the little one to come in just a few months!  Now, truth be told, I think the purchasing with escalate once we know the sex.

I'm still wearing "normal" clothing.  True, I'm having to be MUCH more selective when picking out my clothes for the day, and about 3/4 of my closet are now in the "can't wear" category, but I'm still rocking my old clothes.  I have some maternity stuff I'm borrowing from Jason's coworker, and I'm getting some from Kara this weekend, but so far, everything's been too big for me. (My apologies to moms out there who now hate me.  Like I said before, this is me and Itself.  I know that every pregnancy is totally different and that every bump grows at different rates.)

I'm more worried about leaving my students for a quarter than about the whole parenthood thing.  Ok, that one's not completely true.  I think I'm SO scared/ignorant about parenthood that it's easier for me to focus on what I do know -- teaching and students.  In two years of teaching, completely losing my voice for three days, and being sick without being able to take good meds, I've yet to take a sick day or personal day off of work.  I have control issues with my students.  In August, I'm handing over 90 teenagers to a stranger and entrusting the stranger to follow my lesson plans and invest in those 90 kids like I would.  Now a mentor of mine told me some of these fears and control issues will go away once I'm engrossed in parenthood, but for now, I'm a nervous wreck about it.

I'm sure there are other things I'm doing that are different than the norm, but how would I know what they are?  I don't read pregnancy books to know what the "norm" even is!

It Was the Best Day...

I really hate insurance commercials (seriously, how many spokespeople/animals does Geico need?), but I like the song from this Progressive ad:

"It Was the Best Day"

That song popped in my head on Friday because I was having a really great day.  It had started out really hectic.  I had left work on Thursday with about 15 things still on my to-do list.  Not great.  One of those things was to grade my Earth Science tests.

God bless the scantron machine.  You know, where students bubble in their answers?  Seriously, zzhoomp zzhoomp zzhoomp through the scantron machine, and next thing you know, you have 30 graded tests.  So I guess I'm not opposed to ALL technology.  Anyway, my Earth kids rocked the house with their test!  I'm talking some students were scoring 20 points higher than all their other tests!  Woohoo!

It was great motivation Friday since it was a review day before their midterm this week.  Plus, they really enjoyed "Earth Science Pictionary" and got nearly every clue right!  Where have these geniuses been hiding?

In Physical Science, we learned about one of my favorite topics all semester -- Light and Color.  It combines science (light absorption/reflection), art (mixing pigments), and psychology (perception of color), all things I really love.  Plus, as the granddaughter, cousin, friend, and wife of colorblind guys, I feel quite well-versed in a subject that most students find really interesting.

Colorblind people do not see the number above.  Do you?

Then, we had one of my favorite labs of the semester. Did you know that if you look under a microscope at magazine pictures and newspaper comic strips, you can see the three primary pigment colors -- yellow, cyan, and magenta?  My students now do!  How about when you put a cell phone under a microscope?  Well looky there, the three primary light colors -- red, green, and blue!  

As if that wasn't enough excitement, I then let them mix together yellow, cyan, and magenta paints so they can see how all other colors are combinations of the three.

To top off my day, a student and I had an in-depth conversation about color perception (Is the color I call red the same as what you see as red?) and then she said, "You know, Physical Science is the first science class I've ever really liked.  I used to hate science until this class."

It was the BEST day!

Pink or Blue?

Two weeks from today we (*hopefully*... c'mon spread legs!) find out whether Itself is a Himself or a Herself.  Here's a conversation we had Wednesday night.  I don't know what started it, but Jason said something about hoping for a boy.

Megan: "Kara asked me the other day if you had a preference.  I said I didn't think so.  She told me that whether or not you admitted it, you wanted a boy.  She also warned me that, though you would love whatever baby we have, you may be a little bummed right away if we find out we're having a girl."

Jason:  "Yeah, I will be bummed.  So bummed I'll need to buy a new camera to feel better."

Megan: (lots of "you will not be buying a new camera!" fussing)

I was preparing dinner at the time, and we got to talking about different stuff at the table.  Then, about 30 minutes later as I was cleaning up...

Jason:  "Now I don't know what I want more... a boy or a girl and a new camera."

Oh dear, what am I going to do with that man?

Not a Model

Today's awkwardness brought to you by imperfect me.

I hate to admit it, but it took Jason and I nearly TWO HOURS to get my baby bump picture from Monday's post!  Jason is that horrible mixture of really good photographer (so everything had to be just right) and not a portrait photographer (so we weren't really sure how to get that "just right" picture).  Even though I said, "Really, this can just be a snapshot," we had to get out multiple flashes and photography umbrellas (yes, he's that hardcore) to take the shot.

I certainly didn't help things either.  Despite my fantasies while watching America's Next Top Model, I am a horrible model.

Problem #1: I am a blinker.
We first really discovered this during my senior portraits in high school.  The photographer took three rolls of film (sidenote: how sad that the next generation won't even know what a "roll of film" is?), and 8 (yes, EIGHT) pictures turned out with my eyes even slightly opened.  The rest of the footage looked like we were taking shots while I was asleep!  *frustrating*

Since then, formal shots have been hard for me.  My deepest apologies to Marvin (my sister's wedding photographer) and Toby (my wedding photographer) for having to deal with me AND my dad, two huge blinkers.  I guess that's where my blinking genes come from (thanks Dad...).

As "open" as Toby could get our eyes...

Problem #2: My "real" smile makes me crinkle up my face.
That means that if I manage to open my eyes for the picture, my authentic smile makes them close back up.  To get my eyes open, I have to do a weird fake smile.  So then comes the debate...

Do we go with real smile/closed eyes?

Or do we go with open eyes/weird smile?

Yikes, they're both pretty bad.  The sad thing is, these are both from the "maybe" pile.  You should have seen the ones we deleted at first glance!

Problem #3: What do I do with my hands?
Anyone who has watched ANTM on a regular basis knows that a bad hand can ruin a good shot.  If I had a dollar for every time Ms. J talked about someone having "catcher's mitts" in their photo, I... well, I'd be able to buy some fast food at least.

What am I supposed to do with my hands when the point of the picture is for everyone to look at my belly?

Arms just down at my side?

Nope, that's awkward.  How about hands in my pockets?

Um... no.

Oh well, there goes my modeling career.  Too bad, I had really hoped I'd get "discovered" one day in the mall or something. ;-)

17 Weeks

So my intention was to do these at 4-week increments.  However, Week 16 came and went without us taking a "bump" picture.  So here I am at 17 (and a half) weeks.  Jason wasn't sure y'all could tell, so he helped you out by letting you know where the baby is.

Not too much of a bump, but definitely noticeable.

How far along?  17 weeks
Baby size?  According to parents.com, it's the size of a beanie baby
Maternity Clothes?  They are still a bit big for me, so I'm wearing pairs of pants that still button and lots of cardigans to distract from the belly.  I bought two new dresses on Friday that are "regular" dresses, but will be maternity-friendly.
Sleep?  I'm sleeping pretty well these days, thanks to my snoogle pillow.  I get up 1-2 times a night, but I'm usually able to go back to sleep afterwards.
Best Moment this Week?  I finally broke down on Friday and told my students I was pregnant.  It was getting harder and harder to hide it, and I thought I'd be upfront instead of hearing them whisper "Is Mrs. Self getting fat?"  They. were. adorable.  Some guys offered to throw me a shower at their house.  Some girls offered to buy me diapers and clothes once I find out what I'm having.  I had been dreading telling them, but it ended up being one of my highlights of the week.
Miss Anything?  I miss being able to grab anything out of my closet and not have to worry about whether it will fit or not.  I also miss Diet Pepsi and Diet Coke.  Mmmmmm...
Movement?  Nothing yet.  I've heard the first movements are really subtle, though.
Food Cravings?  Most anything in sight.  I've always been an eater, so it's hard to tell what is Megan and what is Itself.  I'm all about fruit these days, which is a non-Megan thing, so I guess that counts as a craving.
Anything Making Me Queasy/Sick?  Jason had some tuna salad the other day, which didn't smell too appetizing, but tuna's just like that.  No real queasiness/sickness from it.
Gender?  TBD April 5!  Can't wait!
Symptoms? I'm having a hard time bending directly over (like to pick up shoes off the closet floor).  I also don't particularly like stretching up, like getting something off a top shelf.
Wedding rings on or off?  Definitely on and still swinging around loosely (the usual for me in the winter)
Mood?  Pretty good, though this weekend's GORGEOUS weather definitely helped with that!  Itself and I took a walk on Saturday and then played basketball with Jason after State lost in the ACC Tournament.
Looking forward to?  Finding out the gender!  We've been putting off nursery-painting and bedding-shopping until we find out, and I'm excited for those two things!  Plus, I foresee some dinosaur or floral-onesie purchases in my near future!

In All Circumstances

It's long, it's wordy, but I felt it was worth sharing...

I've been really thankful recently, and sharing that thanks with God in my morning prayers.  School has been going well, I've had the world's best pregnancy, I'm going to have a baby soon, Jason has been amazing, I get to share my life with my family... it's all good here!

Each week, our Sunday School teacher Brian sends out a "Hump Day Encourager," an email linking Scripture with an application to our daily lives.  This week, he shared 1 Thessalonians 5:18:

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

He emphasized that the verse says to give thanks in all circumstances, not necessarily for all circumstances.  It's hard to thank God for life's difficulties, but we are called to give God thanks while dealing with life's difficulties.  I read this email Tuesday night, and thought about it a bit Wednesday morning.  I feel like I'm a pretty grateful person, so I felt I could put a big ol' check mark by this verse and call it accomplished.

I get to work between 6:15 and 6:30.  This gives me about 45 minutes before students show up to prepare for the day, read some Scripture, log in some grades to the computer, and finalize my powerpoint notes for the day.  I live by these powerpoints.  90% of my organization (and trust me, there's a LOT of organization in my life!) is because I'm actually scatter-brained.  If I need to remind students of something, I put it on the powerpoint.  Directions for what they're doing in lab that day?  It's on the powerpoint.  Plus, that's how I teach... they follow along and fill in their notes while listening to me elaborate on my powerpoints and show them pictures and diagrams that emphasize the point.

At 7:00 on Wednesday, I went to copy my powerpoints for the day from my desktop computer onto my thumbdrive so I could display it on my projector.  I do this every morning.  For some reason, instead of copying the file, I DELETED THE ENTIRE FOLDER!  As in, 5 days' worth of powerpoint notes.  As in the file folder containing the notes I was about to teach 15 minutes from the time of deleting.  Panic attack!  You computer-savvy people out there are thinking, "Uh, why didn't you just retrieve it from the recycling bin?"  Well, my school system has decided that they'll allow teachers to completely depend on their computers, but have no real administrative control over them.  We can't do anything, from changing our desktop backgrounds to having access to our recycling bins.

Long story short, I called the Media Center and they said they may be able to retrieve the lost files by the end of the day.  I frantically began recreating and retyping a powerpoint on what I thought I had planned on teaching that day and told my students to sit quietly and study for their quiz that was later that morning.  By 7:45, we were up and running... but my whole day was thrown off.

I told everyone I could find about my horrible situation -- my students, fellow teachers, my assistant principal, my mom, Jason, you name it.  At around 4:00, they were able to retrieve the rest of my files, so I was good to go for the rest of the week.  Did I exclaim for joy?  You betcha.  Did I thank God?  No, I don't believe I did...

That night in bed it hit me.  Only 24 hours earlier, I had brushed off the message of giving thanks in every circumstance.  God had tested me, and I had failed drastically.  At no time during the day had I thanked God.  In fact, I had a pretty foul attitude the whole day.  I wanted people to pity me and my horrible situation.

And it wasn't even that bad of a situation. 

So I had deleted some files.  Wow, really?  That was the worst thing in my day?  That same day I learned that a student of mine with bad attendance is dealing with stuff so bad at home (obviously I can't share here) that I couldn't even fathom having to deal with.  I didn't have to worry about where my next meal was going to come from.  No loved one of mine was dealing with a sickness.  We weren't facing eviction or foreclosure because my hours at work had been cut.  I had not been fired, had an argument with a close friend, or even stubbed a toe.  I had deleted some files that were found again only hours later.

We are called to thank God in all circumstances.  While we may not like the circumstance or understand the circumstance, there is a point for it, and we should give thanks for it.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." -- Romans 8:28

God had a purpose for that situation that day -- to humble me and to help me realize just how much I need His forgiveness and mercy.  I don't have a "check mark" beside gratefulness.  I need the Holy Spirit in me every day to combat my pride and make me realize how much I need Him.  The most beautiful thing is, He's there for me.

And if that isn't something to give thanks for, I don't know what is.

Delicioso!

A few nights ago, I got really ambitious and cooked up quite a meal for the 2 of us.  No pictures, because by the time it was all done, I wanted to devour it, not photograph it!

Baked Tilapia:
Nothing special here.  I patted tilapia fillets with a paper towel, brushed a bit of olive oil on them, and sprinkled on salt (and pepper?  can't remember), chili powder, cayenne pepper, and Old Bay.  I cooked it in a 400-degree oven for 5-10 minutes, then finished it under the broiler.

Black-eyed Pea Salad:
This is a Paula Deen recipe I found in a magazine.  I prepared it over an hour before we ate to let the flavors marry, but it was a little bland the first night.  I'd definitely recommend making the day before to really give the flavors time.

In a large bowl, whisk together 1.5 Tbsp olive oil, 1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar, 1 clove chopped garlic, 1/2 tsp sugar, pinch of salt, and pepper.
Add 1 can of black-eyed peas (I used Luck's brand), handful of sliced grape tomatoes, 1/2 red bell pepper (chopped), and 1 finely chopped jalapeno

Cover, refrigerate, and serve cold.  I thought it was a nice change from our normal sides.  Jason was less impressed.  I think I'll still make it again, especially during the summer when turning on the oven or stove seems evil.

Mexican Cornbread:
I got this recipe from my mom, but she's not the original creator.  Neither of us are quite sure who came up with it in the first place.  Mom knows of at least three potential "sources" for the awesomeness.  It is easy to whip up and was a BIG HIT with Mr. Self!  We've been basing the rest of our meals this week off of what would go well with a side of cornbread. Answer: most anything.

3 eggs
2 boxes Jiffy cornbread mix
1 cup sour cream (Kara has used plain Greek yogurt in a pinch)
1/2 cup chopped seeded jalapenos (I found this was about 4 peppers)
1/2 cup oil
1 can cream-style corn
1 tsp salt
1 Tbsp sugar
1 cup grated cheddar (the sharper the better)
1 cup grated pepper jack (my mom's addition to the recipe... the original just calls for the 1 cup of cheddar cheese)

In a large bowl, beat the eggs.  All all the other ingredients and mix well.  Pour into a greased 9x13 pan and bake at 400 degrees for 35-45 min until top is light brown.

Seriously tasty.  It's sweet and cheesy and spicy and just really great comfort food.

Snoogle Up

Pre-baby-itself, I was a stomach sleeper.  That had to change pretty early on into pregnancy.  I've heard that sleeping on your back is a bad idea, so I've been trying to sleep on my side.  I definitely have not taken well to this.  In the middle of the night, my knees and bottom hip (whatever side I was sleeping on) would ache.  Plus, I'd wake up in the middle of the night on my back.  Great, that's what I'm trying to avoid...

A few weeks ago, Jason ordered me a surprise while I was napping (on my back... *sigh*) on the couch -- a snoogle.  "A what?" you may be asking.  A snoogle.

A snoogle is a C-shaped pillow that curls up above your head, down your back (to keep you from rolling over onto your side) and between your knees to relieve joint pain.  It's pretty stinking awesome.

This is how I use it most of the night, sleeping on my left side:

Then, in the wee hours of the morning, I switch over to my right side and the pillow runs along my tummy.

I have to say, it's pretty comfy.  It coils up on itself, so it's supposed to have about 10 different uses (like sitting up in bed, sitting on a hard floor, etc), but I pretty much just use it these two ways for now.

God Bless Shrimp Tempura

There's certain things even a novice knows about pregnancy.  You're supposed to be sick your first couple of months.  Your last few months are going to be hot and uncomfortable.  Oh, and there's this whole long list of things you can't do or eat while pregnant.

There are some things on this list that haven't been a problem, like alcohol (easy to give up something you didn't eat or drink in the first place).  My beloved bleu cheese?  Eh, I'll just order ranch instead.

I worried about caffeine.  Prior to last summer, I was an avid coffee drinker.  I loved the taste of it and drank it every day.  That said, I usually only drank one cup a day, so I thought it would be easy to kick  the habit.  Over the summer, I switched over to decaf.  That was a little rough, but after two weeks of half-caf (thank you person who invented this), I was all decaf and didn't look back.  Once I got pregnant, I actually lost the desire for coffee.  Now, I drink a cup of decaf once every two weeks or so.

Didn't want the baby to come out a caffeine addict

During operation "decaf," I switched over to Diet Sierra Mist, which was the only tolerable caffeine-free diet soda I could find.  I would have the occasional Diet Coke or something, since doctors agree that a little caffeine isn't a big deal.  Then I got the bad news on my first trip to the doctor -- diet drinks are a no-go.  Whaaaaaat? *pouty face*  They told me to temporarily switch over to regular sodas.  Regular Coke after years of diet = blech.  Caffeine-free friends = cherry 7up and ginger ale.  Both are pretty tolerable when you're eating soda-must-have meals like burgers or pizza.

Ok, so I'm getting through pretty well.  But there was one thing I had dreaded giving up -- sushi.  Jason and I adore sushi.  We don't go often, so when we do, we're like two ravenous roll-eating fiends.  The culprit with sushi is the raw fish (though honestly, the chance of anything bad eating that small quantity of quality fish is teeny tiny).  Solution?  Shrimp tempura rolls and deep-fried rolls.  

Yum!  The shrimp are cooked, and the deep frying cooks whatever fish was inside the roll.  Is it quite the same?  No.  Does it get me my sushi/ginger/wasabi fix?  You betcha.  So God, thanks for shrimp tempura rolls.  You know how to make this pregnant lady happy.

Photoshop

Last week, Jason did a free online workshop to get more familiar with Adobe Photoshop.  They started at noon (so he took a half-day off work each day) and ended around 7:00.  (I spent the week reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince since I lost my tv buddy)

Saturday morning, Jason wanted to go take some photos before the workshop at noon, so we went to Duke Gardens... in the 30 degree weather.  At 7:30am.  That's love.

I'm ridiculous when it comes to the cold.  I'm an NC girl through and through.  "Cold" is anything below 60 degrees.  Jason threw on some clothes and was ready in five minutes.  I spent 10 minutes just contemplating how many layers I could put on without losing mobility ("I can't put my arms down!").

I ended up with two long-sleeved shirts, a zip-up hoodie, and a coat... jeans, knee-high socks, and calf-length socks on top... my warmest hat (wool with ear flaps) and fingerless gloves (not the warmest solution, but necessary to operate my touchscreen on my camera.  I also went out with a pocket stuffed with tissues to combat my runny nose.

What did we find when we got there?  Not much.  It's winter.  Most plants die in the winter.  We found some daffodils and irises starting to bloom, so we took photos of those (expect to see those later).  We also found lots of birds and squirrels eating from feeders.  That doesn't make for great photos, but they were entertaining to watch at least.

Jason found another subject... me.  He snapped some candid shots while I was taking pictures of a flower.  He's a sneaky fellow.  Here's the final product after he applied some of his new Photoshop skills.  It turned out pretty well, I must say.

Here's hoping the spring weather is on the way.  After seeing this morning's 3-day forecast (that calls for snow on Wednesday), I'm not too optimistic.