Chronicles of a Working Mom -- Part 6, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

A fellow working mom (well, one that was going to become a working mom in a few days) submitted this question:

"What have been the benefits and drawbacks for you AND your baby?"

I know I'm long-winded (and if you've been reading these posts, you know it, too!), but I will try to keep this brief.

Benefits for Me:

• Getting the chance to work.  I've mentioned before that I love teaching, so one of the main benefits of me working as a teacher is that I (duh) get to work as a teacher. Plus, I get to have adult conversations (Tyler's not quite old enough to debate with me about whether the US should force pollution standards on other countries like China) and impact people at a crucial time in their lives.  A few days ago, a few students called me over to ask my opinion on the movie "Heaven is Real."  I was able to have a theological debate with one student who is a firm believer and one who is a self-proclaimed agnostic.
• Dual income.  This wasn't in my original list for this post, but let's face it.  There are benefits to having two incomes (minus the daycare payment).
• Getting away from the house.  I'm one of the world's laziest people, and being away from home during the day actually helps me get MORE accomplished when I am at home.  If I'm there all day, I suffer from "Oh, I have all day to get this done"-itis, which leads to checking very little off my to-do list.  
• Prioritizing my day.  Any given day, I work all day, run an errand after work, get home, play with Tyler, fix dinner, do bath time and bed time with Tyler, then relax with Jason.  My day is full, but it keeps me focused on what's important.  

Drawbacks for Me:

• Exhaustion.  That's true for any parent.  The difference is that if Tyler has a sleepless night (which means I have a sleepless night), I still have to go to work the next day and be peppy and energetic and "on."  I'm on my feet and moving around all day, then need to muster up enough energy to keep up with my increasingly-mobile son.  Caffeine helps.
• Time.  I feel like I have to rush through everything these days.  Errand-running (sans kid) has to get scheduled around after-school meetings because I make it a point to be home when Jason and Tyler get home.  That also means those errands are always (ALWAYS) done with a list and I have little time to browse or enjoy my surroundings (so much for daydreaming while walking around in Target...).
• Guilt.  I love working, and I hope that Tyler will learn lessons about work ethic, missions in the workplace, and finding a career (even if the pay stinks) that he will love.  I hope that he does not grow up to regret that he missed out on some things (school birthday parties, me going to Open House to meet his teachers, etc.) because I worked during the day.  I feel guilty sometimes that I don't get to be as hands-on with his early development as my mom was with me.  I feel guilty when Jason has to stay home every time Tyler is sick because it's difficult for me to take a sick day (lesson plans where students will actually do the work but won't cheat off each other, finding a sub that won't sit at my desk on their phone all day, etc.).  I love being a working mom, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel guilty from time to time.
• Missing milestones for the first time.  It's always bittersweet when I get a report from school that Tyler has done something new -- cruising along a bookshelf, waving, "talking."  Yes, I miss out on seeing some firsts, but he does do them again.  And it's a "first" for me!
• Not being around Tyler all day.  He's a pretty cool dude, and I don't get to be around him when I'm working.  In fact, right now, I only get to see him 3 hours a day on weekdays.  That's rough sometimes.
• Nights out.  As of right now, Jason and I keep our Tyler time pretty sacred.  Since we're away from him so much during the day, we don't elect to spend any other time away from him.  That means invitations for things starting at 5pm get turned down.  That means "date night" is not a reality right now.  Sure, at some point we will spend time (other than work time) away from Tyler.  We're not those parents!  This is just a season for us.

Benefits for Tyler:

• Social interactions with other children.  Tyler gets to be around other children his age.  These children are of different ethnicities and backgrounds than he may have encountered if I was just having playdates with my friends' kids.  I think this will prepare him well for public education where he will be around all types of kids.  Several of these children are a few months older than him (though all under 1 year), and I think he's been learning a lot of behavioral things from observing them.  Just yesterday, we got a report that Tyler was crawling around the room, "visiting" his classmates.  Precious!
• Social interactions with other adults.  Tyler loooooooves his mama and daddy and his extended family.  I also think it's important that he is able to have positive interactions with other adults as well.  Tyler's teachers love him and care about him just like we do.  He gets to feel loved by a variety of people.  He also learns that different environments have different sets of rules.  He learns to obey (well, that may been a longshot) the authority of adults when we're not around.
• Variety of toys/experiences.  Jason and I (long before Tyler) knew we didn't want to buy our kid a million toys.  We didn't want to spend all that money.  We didn't want to teach our son materialism.  We didn't want to store all that junk!  Thank goodness for baby showers and borrowing from Casa de Bowen.  Tyler dividing his day between us and daycare means he gets to play with the swings and shakers and take stroller rides to see the fish while at daycare and then come home and play piano, read books, and build (well, destroy) block towers.  Everyone wins!
• Routine.  I've mentioned before that routine works really well in this household.  Tyler has the same morning routine, which is already preparing us for the days when he's forced to wake up and go to school.  It also makes getting ready for church just another day for him instead of a big ordeal where he's not used to leaving the house that early in the morning.

Drawbacks for Tyler:

• Not being around parents all day.  Most children spend the majority of their childhoods in school away from their family.  Going to daycare moves this reality up five years early for Tyler.  We're able to give him one-on-one attention and do things that his teachers aren't necessarily allowed to do (like cover him in kisses!!!!). He misses out on some of this.
• Exposure to germs.  We're not neat freaks who worry about sanitizing everything Tyler comes in contact with.  That said, of course we don't want him to be sick all the time.  Being around kids all day who haven't learned to cover their mouths when coughing (or to not lick a toy and then leave it for another kid) does lead to more colds and other bugs.

Well there you have it.  There are going to be benefits and consequences to every decision.  This is how things work in our family.  Feel free to share your opinions or thoughts in the comments section.


Next Up: Biblical View of Being a Working Mom

Chronicles of a Working Mom -- Part 5, Changing my Mind

When I put out the all-call for questions and comments on Facebook, I got two similar questions, one from a fellow teacher mom and one from a friend who was a former working mom but is now a s-a-h mom.

"Would you change your decision if the deciding factors (finances, long term career goals, etc.) changed?"

"Would you continue working if you had more kids?  Would you continue if you were no longer bringing home much extra money due to paying for childcare?"

Would I ever consider being a stay-at-home mom?  The answer is a resounding yes.

I mentioned before that the original Megan-and-Jason plan was for me to stay at home.  What happened?  Life happened.  Now, it's our plan for me to work.  What might change that?  Life.


... Is teaching no longer my passion and calling?  I would stay at home.

... Does the state of North Carolina continue to disrespect the value of public education and public teachers to the point that the benefits stop outweighing the hardships?  I would stay at home.

... Does Tyler (or hypothetical other Self babies) need me at home?  I would stay at home.
(sidenote on this one: Tyler's teacher recently left SAS because there were some hardships in her family that needed 100% of her attention.  That opened my eyes to this possibility)

... Do I have three kids all under school age at the same time (3x the cost of daycare?  petrifying!) and/or two kids of similar age in daycare together (meaning several years of 2x the cost)?  I would probably stay at home.

... Do we win the lottery (that we don't play) or receive a huge inheritance from a superrich relative we didn't know we had?  I would consider staying at home.  Sure, I'm a teacher because I love it, but I think I could embrace the "rich and don't need to work" lifestyle if I had to.  You know, if I was forced to have a ton of money... :)

... Does God tell me to?  I would stay at home.  I've heard before (and quoted this in my blog before)

"Want to hear God laugh?  Tell Him your plans."

If I could, I would plan out every second of every minute of my life (yes, I'm that big of a planner).  God knows this and likes to throw me curve balls to make sure I remember that He's sovereign, not me.

Next Up: The Ups and Downs of Working Momitude

Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion.  Please share yours in the comments section.

Chronicles of a Working Mom -- Part 4, Only 24 Hours in a Day?

A question from Facebook:

"My biggest concern is balance... how do you do it all?  Spending quality time with the little man, time with the hubs, doing things for myself (like exercise), house stuff?  It just seems like so much, but I want to enjoy life at the same time.  Does this make any sense?"

Dear friend, it makes sooooo much sense.  This is the plight of every parent, mother or father, working or stay-at-home.  How do we do it all?

Step 1: Multitasking

Life these days is all about using precious time as efficiently as possible.  There's something you just need to embrace:

Uni-tasking is now a thing of the past.

When I pump at school (hidden away in my chemical stockroom like a hermit), I'm also grading papers or eating lunch  (or... don't know if this is TMI, but writing this blog post....).  In the morning, I make Tyler's bottles while waiting for my coffee to brew.  I unload the dishwasher while cooking dinner.  I have my morning quiet time (praise God for Bible apps on my phone) while brushing my teeth.  I pick out the next day's clothes while brushing my teeth at night.  I don't think I ever just brush my teeth anymore...

Know what makes me annoyed with this picture?  She looks so calm!  Multitasking doesn't make you Zen Mama.  You will still be Frazzled "did I condition my hair or just shampoo?" Mama, but what mom (working or stay-at-home) isn't?  Multitasking is just that necessary evil to get things done.  Time is a luxury now, so multitasking has become my new norm.  In fact, I actually talked about one particularly crazy Sunday morning of multitasking in this blog post back in March.

Step 2: Routine

Let me be clear before I proceed that "routine" is not synonymous with "schedule."  Back in October, Jason's coworker lent us a book about putting the baby on a schedule.  It had been really helpful to her, so she was sharing the love.  The next day, Jason came home to me in tears.

Actually, I take that back.  I handed Tyler off to him so I could go pump (I was trying to get used to it before starting back at work in a few days) and used that pumping time to cry and compose myself.  I fell into the mommy trap of "must make everyone think I'm 100% ok 100% of the time"... that's for a different blog series, though!

Anyway, I had read the book that day, and felt like a failure of a mom because my kid didn't go down for a nap at exactly 9am or want to eat exactly every 3 hours.  "Schedule" was not for us.

But I'm talking about routine -- doing the same things in the same manner day after day.  Routines are awesome because you can do a lot of routined things on autopilot (essential for sleep-deprived parents).  I make Tyler's bottles at the same time every morning (while I'm making my lunch).  That means, as long as I remember to make my lunch, I will remember to make his.

In the evenings, our house is like the movie Groundhog Day.

We do the same thing in the same order day in and day out.  Tyler eats dinner, we eat dinner, Tyler has bathtime and then has bedtime.  Everyone (including my kiddo) knows what's going on without having to discuss, decide, or coax.  Sure, things come up ("Why won't he go to sleep?!?  Doesn't he know it's bed time?!?"), but when the routine works, life is good.

Step 3: Making Time for Yourself

No matter how busy you are, you have to make time for yourself (all the magazines and books tell you so!).  I don't claim to be an expert or anything, but I have found something that works well for me...

Have "Me Time" away from home

If you're at home, you'll see the dishes that need washing or the inch of dust on the furniture and feel compelled to clean rather than invest in yourself.  At least, I think that's what you'll do.  Very little compels me to clean.  If Tyler is home, the Megan hat is quickly replaced with the Mama hat.  No way I'm gonna choose me time during the few precious hours I get with him each day.

You may want to try having "me time" at work.  Get to work a little earlier than you need to start your day.  Use that time before everyone arrives to read a few blogs, have quiet time, or do yoga.

Or, when you're out running errands, have your "me time" by casually strolling through the clothes, Nate Berkus pillows, or seasonal tableware (none of which you're going to buy, of course, but you still enjoy looking at it all).  No one says me time has to be a day trip to the spa or a weekend in Vegas with the girls.  Let's be realistic here.  A few minutes of fanciful daydreaming ("If I bought these melon and turquoise plates, I could have people over for a cookout and we could eat on the deck!") is a great diversion from harsh reality ("Where's the frozen pizzas and paper plates, because I don't feel like cooking and I certainly don't feel like cleaning up afterward!")

Dream

reality

Which brings me to...

Step 4: Acceptance

In your question, you asked "How do you do it all?"  The answer is, you don't.  You have to make sacrifices and readjust your priorities.

This year, I made a commitment to myself (and my family) that I wouldn't bring work home with me.  For a teacher, especially a new teacher like me, that's unheard of.  My students may not get back graded work the next day, but they still get it back and the world hasn't ended.

out with the old...

Cleaning (something I never enjoyed doing) has gone by the wayside.  Dishes and laundry get done, but dusting?  Vacuuming?  Ha!  I do still try to cook homemade dinners.  However, I have a stocked freezer with quick-fix meals if I need one.  I'm also not opposed to "Hey, we're having cereal tonight!" or "Yay, sandwiches!"

I'm about to get real, folks and show you what our house looks like these days.  Can you handle it?  Some of you will not, but part of me hopes you'll be so disgusted that you'll show up on my doorstep begging to clean up my house.

Brace yourselves...

our kitchen table -- we eat at the island, so it's become a catch-all

our living room -- shoes, toys, mail, etc.

I'll talk more about this in a later post, but we don't go to a lot of social activities right now.  Because we both work, we only get a few hours a day with Tyler, and we keep those hours sacred.  After bedtime, Jason and I try to spend time together.  We have to work on this some, put our phones and computers away, maybe turn off the tv a few nights a week, and really focus on us as a couple and not just as Tyler's parents (I originally had "and not just as Mama and Daddy"... but that sounded a bit dirty.  Hey, remember I'm a high school teacher!  I have to evaluate every statement for potential innuendo.)

Like I said, you make sacrifices.  You aren't going to have as much freedom as you did pre-baby, but that's true whether you are a working parent or a stay-at-home parent.




Next Up: Will I Be a Working Mom Forever?

Chronicles of a Working Mom -- Part 3, The Dreaded Daycare Decision

Congrats, you've had a kid!  Now what?

If both of us were going to be working, then we would need to find a place for our kiddo during the day.  I've said it over and over, but no set of working parents makes the exact same decisions about childcare.  This definitely rings true for us because we chose a path for Tyler that isn't open to every dual-income family.

Jason and I (and Tyler) are so terribly spoiled when it comes to daycare.  Jason works for SAS Institute, which Fortune Magazine has year after year ranked one of the top places to work in the country.  One of the perks of working there is that SAS provides its own on-campus daycare.  More about SAS here and here.

It's a top-notch school that teaches (not just "babysits") and cares for Tyler (his teachers LOVE him), is at Jason's place of work (so convenient for pick-up/drop-off or the occasional family lunch), and is whoa cheap.  He's in a class with two teachers and (currently) four other children.  He goes from 8:45-3:45 five days a week.  But more on that in a later post...

Tyler's classroom

Before being accepted into the daycare (we got on the waiting list about four seconds after finding out we were pregnant), Jason and I explored other options.  We were bummed by their conditions (not slums, but not places that made you excited to send your kid all day) and the prices (some were higher than our mortgage!!!!).  We're so blessed to have gotten into the SAS program.  It gives me great peace of mind when I go to work every day that Tyler is getting the finest education.

Gee, that's just great for y'all.  Thanks, Meg...........

Ok, I know, I know, our story isn't terribly helpful for the rest of you.  That's why I turned to other working parents to find out what decisions they made and why.  I've bolded the questions I asked and put their answers underneath.

What type of care did you go with? (daycare facility, daycare at someone's home, in-home support, family, etc.) and what were the main deciding factors for this type of care? (low-cost, high ratings, security/comfort of being in own home, etc.)

We use our family but go to preschool 2 half days a week.  I didn't want my daughter in childcare as a small infant because of the germs, unfamiliar caregiver, and at that time, I was working weekends [as a nurse], so they would only cover Fridays.  Plus in this area, you cannot find a facility that covers a 12hr hospital shift.  Shift work also complicates things because we both do it, so our schedules are constantly changing. [Me: I also wanted to add as an FYI that her mom worked in a daycare facility for years, so she's quite knowledgeable about the goings on there]

We went with a daycare facility based on recommendations from fellow teachers.  We liked having multiple eyes in the room and socialization.

We went with a really great daycare that teaches your kid everything (reading, writing, math, Spanish).  He started Kindergarten smarter than a first grader.  They have a water park!  It is huge, well-lit, good security (keypad on the door), and has good meals (including breakfast).

I've done both in-home and a daycare facility.  The in-homes were where a friend had his little boy.  The daycare facility is just for infants/toddlers under 33mos.  It was recommended to me.  In an in-home, they are exposed to children of all ages (like a family setting) whereas in a daycare facility, they are often only with kids their own age.  In in-home, they stay with the same teacher while they move up to new teachers in a daycare.

We use an in-home facility and my mom has a day with each of the boys each week.  We looked at over 20 daycare places and I wasn't a fan of the teacher turnover at a facility daycare [Me: in the 6mos Tyler has been at SAS, we've had two teachers leave].  I wanted my kids to be able to play together and be around each other all day.  I didn't like the idea of them being in separate classrooms.  We were able to cloth diaper as well.  None of the daycare facilities allowed that.

We started out with an in-home daycare, a teacher's mom at my previous school.  She was highly suggested by everyone.  Now that I've moved jobs (Zebulon to Raleigh), he goes to a daycare that is 5-star and ~5 minutes away from our apartment and my work.

We went with a daycare facility for social interaction and convenience.

My sister-in-law keeps my son 4 days/wk and my mother-in-law keeps him 1 day/wk.  We preferred a smaller in-home environment and my SIL has a 1 year old, so she offered.  We found comfort in knowing he would be with family.  This was the best way to justify me still working.




How many hours is your child in this care a week and (if you are willing to share), how much do you pay?

We pay $90/month for our daughter to go to preschool 2 half-days a week.  Our parents take care of her the other days, and they won't take any payment.

Our daughter goes roughly 40/hours a week (a little less if I'm well-planned and spring her out on Fridays).  We pay $250/week, but don't send her during the summer.  It was $275/week when she was younger. [Me: for those who don't know, daycare rates are higher for infants than toddlers]

Our daughter is in daycare ~45hrs/week and we pay $180/week [for the in-home facility]. 

Our kids are in daycare 45-50 hrs/week, and we pay $232 for 4 days a week/kid.

When our little guy was tiny, my husband worked out his schedule so he was home with him 2 weekdays (and I was home with him on the weekends), so he was in daycare ~24.5 hrs/week.  Now, he's there 5 days a week, so 40-45hrs.  We pay $180/week (based on our income), although "full" price is around $250/week.

He's with my SIL or MIL ~35-40 hours a week.  We pay my SIL $45/day and found that to be comparable to other in-home situations.  

Anything else you'd like to share?

I cried the first day I dropped her off, and she didn't shed a tear.

I think the key is to go visit places unannounced and don't schedule a visit in advance.  Just show up.  That will give you an idea of the security and how things are truly handled at the daycare.  Make sure you are comfortable with what you see.

You will have to compromise.  What is most important to you?  I love that my kids get to walk to the park or the pet store -- things we would do if we were home with them.

It was comforting (and cheaper) to have our tiny baby with one person and be able to watch bigger kids, but he's learning a lot with other kids at daycare now.



Last words from me:
There really are advantages and disadvantages to each choice.  If I had my way, my folks would live closer and take care of Tyler at least a couple days a week.  I do love that Tyler is in a small class (5-6 kids and 2 teachers) with kids just slightly older than him (they "move up" when they turn 1).  I think he's learned a lot from watching their behaviors.

The biggest shock for us were the rates at some daycare facilities.  I had heard before that unless you have a "good" [reasonably-paid] job, it's not worth it to do daycare.  I now know why!  When we were shopping around, we went to two places that were not up to our standards, and they wanted $280/week!  I can't even imagine what the "good" schools ask!  So so thankful for SAS.

Next Up: How to Balance Your Time

Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion.  Share yours in the comments section.

Chronicles of a Working Mom -- Part 2, The Decision

Disclaimers:  
The purpose of this series is not to persuade people into being working moms, or moms at all!  I have the utmost respect for stay-at-home moms or women who choose not to have children.

I am also not trying to say this is what every working mother experiences.  Just like I do not claim to be able to speak for all females, all Caucasians, or all Americans, I also do not claim to speak for all working moms.  You know, like the fine print of diet plans, "results not typical."    This is simply my experience.

Want more?  Hope Community Church is doing a 5-part series on moms in the workplace.  Read about it here: http://www.gethope.net/marketplace/events.

To stay at home or not to stay at home... that is the question.

I grew up in a household with a working dad and a stay-at-home mom.  When we got a bit older, my mom occasionally worked as a substitute teacher.  As I mentioned in my disclaimers (trying to stave off some of the angry comments...), I have the utmost respect for stay-at-home moms.

I spent the first few years of my life in an environment where I was encouraged to explore curiosity, learning, creativity, you name it.  My mom was able to give me one-on-one attention (ok one-on-two before Kara was school-aged) and take a direct approach with my education.  I entered Kindergarten knowing my numbers, letters, and how to read several words.  When I was sick, my mom was able to take care of me without having to take off from work or get it ok-ed by her boss.  When my sisters and I got involved in extracurricular activities, guess who was there to cheer us on?  Yep.  In fact, maybe I should thank my mom for everything she did for us.  *pauses to call mom*

so thankful for my mom!

When Jason and I were engaged, we talked about kids and me working.  When we got married, we decided to live solely on Jason's income so that we would be prepared either way (to either be a one-income or two-income family).

And that's when I made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom.

Wait... but you're not a stay-at-home mom.  What happened?

Life happened.

My original plan was to quit Enthalpy before trying to get pregnant (because seriously, the chemicals that floated around that place... *shudder*), be a stay-at-home mom until the kid(s) were school age, then go back to school to get my teaching license and be a teacher.

Well, in 2009 (a year after we got married), life at Enthalpy went from bad to worse to worse than I could have imagined.  So I quit.

Last day at Enthalpy

Jason and I weren't ready to have children (we were still learning how to be married to each other), so the "go back to school and get a teaching license" part of the plan got fast-tracked.  Then, the unexpected happened.

I loved teaching.

I mean, loved.  I get to spend my day talking, being energetic/silly/creative, and sharing my love of science?  Sign me up!  For me, teaching isn't just a job (thank goodness, because the low pay and lack of respect would make it pretty unbearable if it was just a paycheck!) -- it is my calling, my mission field.  I get to build relationships with 90 impressionable teenagers every four months and build lasting relationships with downtrodden coworkers who are in desperate need of hope.  While I can't outright speak about Christ in the classroom, I can be salt and light and love on my students in a reflection of Christ's love for them.

food at a baby shower my Physical Science students threw for me
read the story here

at the science department baby shower/end-of-year bash
more about that here

When Jason and I were ready to have children, I don't think we even discussed whether I would work or not.  We both knew how I felt about teaching by that point, and it was just a given that I would continue working.




Next up: The Dreaded Daycare Decision (yay, alliteration!)

Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion.  Please share yours in the comments section.

Chronicles of a Working Mom -- Part 1, Why the Blog Series?

Disclaimers:  
The purpose of this series is not to persuade people into being working moms, or moms at all!  I have the utmost respect for stay-at-home moms or women who choose not to have children.

I am also not trying to say this is what every working mother experiences.  Just like I do not claim to be able to speak for all females, all Caucasians, or all Americans, I also do not claim to speak for all working moms.  You know, like the fine print of diet plans, "results not typical."   This is simply my experience.

Want more?  Hope Community Church is doing a 5-part series on moms in the workplace.  Read about it here: http://www.gethope.net/marketplace/events.


Things I've encountered/read recently that led to me deciding to start this series:

1) Gwyneth Paltrow recently did an interview on E! about how easy it must be to be a "regular" working mom in comparison to being an actress mother.  Read this response to her interview by a writer at the NY Post.  Clearly there are some misconceptions out there of what life is like for dual-income families.

image from NY Post

2) While I was on Spring Break, several people asked me was I going to keep Tyler all week.  Enter massive Mommy Guilt for shipping my kid off to daycare while I went galavanting around town (ok, I cleaned my house and went grocery shopping and to Target).

3) Several friends on Facebook posted a link to this blog about what it's like to be a stay-at-home mom.  I thought it was really good and really informative.  I wanted to do a similar service to working moms.  I'm just more long-winded than this lady, so I'm spreading my thoughts out over several blog posts.

4) I'm doing a Bible series called She Reads Truth and one day's Scripture was Proverbs 31:10-31.  One verse stood out to me:

"She makes linen garments and sells them;

She delivers sashes to the merchant." -- vs 24

More on that later...

5) I have a friend trying to decide how parenthood will look in her household, so it's been a constant topic of discussion the past few months.



In addition, once Jason and I decided that I would keep working, we realized we didn't have a lot of working mom friends to talk to.  My sister Kara is a working mom, but her experience (working 70+ hours a week during tax season and having the two grandmothers provide free daycare) was so different than mine would be.  Several of my teacher friends also have children, but many of them took off for several years (or weren't teachers yet) when they had their children.

I now realize everyone "does parenthood" differently.  Even if our way is not "typical" (and what way is?), it's still another experience for people to read and know about.




Next up:  The Decision

Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion.  Please share yours in the comments section.

Life

Jason and I actively play with Tyler most of the time.  He will occasionally play toys by himself or play in his jumper (or "jumpa jumpa" as we call it), but most of the time, he likes an audience.  On the weekends in particular, this is quite exhausting.

Sometimes, this suffices for "playing" with him:

Nebo Trip -- Sunday

Sunday morning we went to Jason's parents' church.  We received quite a treat -- the singing talents of the Mylon Hayes family.

Here's a video of them (not from that weekend, just one I found on You Tube).  I got my socks knocked off my 11-year-old Kennedy (solo at 47sec).  They said they call her "spark plug."  I can see why.

After church, we met up with Jake and Beth for lunch.  Tyler (my kid who will eat anything within arm's reach) got his second experience with lemons.  He grimaced, but kept coming back for more...

After lunch, we all went to visit MawMaw.  She was recovering from surgery and was very pleased to have visitors.  I think she was even more pleased to have the strawberry milkshake we brought her!!!

It was a great weekend, but exhausting!  Tyler napped nearly the whole way back to Raleigh and was sluggish the next morning.  He had a good time seeing his family, though, and being the center of attention.  

Nebo Trip -- Jason's Pictures

Many of you have already seen these, but they're worth sharing again.  Here are Jason's photos from the Nebo Trip:

https://jbself.exposure.so/linville-trip

Nebo Trip -- Linville Falls

We finally got to our main destination -- Linville Falls.  Jason had found a trail that led to the bottom of the falls.  Sure, it said "difficult" on the trail map, but it was only a half-mile hike, so how difficult could it be?

Answer -- very difficult.

I don't have a lot of pictures of us on the trail (my hands were too occupied most of the time), but I'll try to paint you a word picture.

Conversation at the truck:
Me: "Should I Bjorn Tyler?" [put Tyler in the Baby Bjorn]
Jason: "It's just a half mile."
Benny: "And we have several sets of hands to carry him."
Me: "Ok"

(PS, I wasn't too keen on the idea of the Baby Bjorn anyway)

About 100 yards or so into the hike, Jody decided it was a bit too strenuous for her, so she found a spot on a stump and said to text her if the hike got easier along the way.  She never got that text from us...

So what was the hike like?

One-person wide.  We'd have to stop and let fellow hikers by (who were headed back from the falls) because we couldn't both proceed at the same time.  We got several weird looks from them.  I have a sneaking suspicion they were thinking "They're bringing a baby on this hike?!?"  Some even warned us to be careful as we proceeded.

Rooty.  If there was superawesome stuff above me on the hike, I never saw it.  I spent the whole time staring at my feet.  Each step had to be evaluated and contemplated to make sure I didn't trip.

Steep.  Even though we were headed to the bottom of the falls, we did quite a bit of both uphill and downhill to get to our destination.

Rocky.  We're talking rocks that were 2-3 feet high and usually involved the use of your arms to get up or down them.  There were several rocks where one person would have to go ahead and get Tyler handed to him/her so the next person could scramble across the rocks.

Heavy.  No wait, that's how I would describe my squirmy boy, not the hike.


What else was the hike like?

Awesome!  It's been a while since I've done a hike like that.  You feel the endorphin rush of really "doing something" when you're on a hike like this.

happy hikers

Worth it.

Nebo Trip -- Wiseman's View, Part 2

Beautiful backdrop + cameras = family photo time!

We were up there by ourselves, so we couldn't get a shot with all five of us, but we got several combos.

Selfie!

Nebo Trip -- Wiseman's View, Part 1

When Jason first took me to Nebo to meet his family (almost exactly seven years ago!), we drove up the mountain at the end of his parents' road.  We went up the mountain on our next trip there, September 2007, when Jason proposed up on the Pinnacle.  We haven't been up the mountain since then, mostly because our cars can't make the trip.  We're talking a single-lane, steep incline, gravel, not-for-the-faint-at-heart kinda road.

As we were planning to visit Jason's parents, I asked could we go up the mountain again.  Jason's dad was nice enough to drive us up in his gigantic truck.

Tyler wasn't so sure about this...

"Mama, I'm nervous..."

"Ok, Nana's going with us.  I feel better now."

We were bouncing around like crazy as the truck made it up the mountain.  I held Tyler's head to keep it stable.  Was he bothered?  Nope.  HE SLEPT THE WHOLE TIME.  I mean, I'm glad he can sleep through stuff, but 45 minutes on a gravel mountain road full of holes and ruts?  Even I'm impressed with that!

He woke up refreshed as we reached Wiseman's View.

Walking with Nana and PawPaw

Jason capturing the view

Me (when I saw this sign): "We should do something funny with this sign" (meaning, pose a shot where it doesn't look like we're watching over Tyler)

Jason: "You mean like write 'fall' underneath the sign?  Someone already beat us to that."

"High cliff area.  Watch your children fall."

Kudos, sign vandalizer, wherever you are.  Very clever.

"Engineer" Hat

My dad was a mechanical engineer.  As long as I can remember, he has had an "engineer" (as in, train engineer) hat.  When he and Mama visited a few weeks ago, Tyler got to try it on for size.

Grandma and Pa

Grandma and Pa decided to come visit a few weekends ago.  I love having my parents close enough that day trips are totally doable.

Tyler was SO GOOD while they were here, despite not having a nap.  After they left, he crashed (I did, too... showing off my kiddo is hard work!).

Playing with his "piano"

practicing his new favorite thing -- standing

Tyler and Pa checking each other out

exploring around on the hardwoods